3 Things That Held Me Back
On Friday the stock market was at an all time high. Ladies, when are we going to hit our all time high?
Three things that were holding me back.
- My “independence”
- Failure to promote
- Not having the right ladies in my life
Number one, I thought I had to be this strong, independent woman who had to do everything myself. I somehow equated that if I got help I was weak or not as “legitimate.” It was a constant struggle for survival having to do it all alone. Even after I was married, I was so determined not to depend on a man! How ridiculous is this? I can’t depend on the man I married because somehow this will make me a weak woman?
It is a completely strange way of thinking when you really think about it. You see, men are not walking around claiming they are strong and independent. They aren’t having that conversation. They aren’t trying to prove themselves in that way to the world. You see in this arena, they are pretty smart! They have no problem using anyone and anything to get what they want out of life. They aren’t trying to do everything themselves like we are.
They are just trying to hit their targets and goals like the rest of us. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. The only difference is, they are willing to receive help and depend on others and we think we have to do it all on our own!
It’s a conversation that we as women are having but need to address as women are cutting our noses off to spite our faces by trying to prove to the world we are “independent and don’t need anyone.” It’s simply not true. We live on a planet with other people. No one has ever built an empire alone. You need to include people. It is actually very sane to be able to give, receive help and to cohabitate with one another.
It was only when I understood this mindset that I started to advance and really gain stride. I stopped caring what people thought of me and stopped trying to be the superhero. In order to get more done, I needed people. I depend on people every day. I depend on my nanny to show up and properly care for my children, I depend on my executive assistant to help me with all of the projects going on and I depend on my husband to financially care for our family. These people also depend on me to provide a good, stable working environment where they can prosper and provide for their families.
The irony in all of this is that I actually found my true strength and power as a woman through a man. Overcoming the challenges I have faced and rising to the occasion every single time gives me an inner confidence that resides within. I possess a calmness within my own skin now as I no longer have a need to prove myself to anyone.
Secondly, I failed to promote. I was raised to be humble and not to be braggadocios therefore, I never announced my wins or victories. There are only two reasons (and I learned this from my husband) that businesses fail. One, no one knows you, or second, they forgot about you.
If no one knows you or your product, it is impossible for anyone to conduct business with you. You must make yourself known. The best product doesn’t win. It’s the best KNOWN product that wins. So if you have the best product, you are obligated to make it and yourself known.
For too many years, I didn’t want to tell people about my products because I didn’t want anyone to think I was trying to sell them. I also lacked certainty in myself and had a “humble” mindset, that what I had to offer wasn’t important or valuable enough.
I had not taken on the viewpoint that to NOT tell someone about my product was actually a disservice. It’s actually greedy to not care enough about someone to make it your responsibility to get your product in their hands if you know your product will change the condition of their life for the better.
Once I got clarity and belief in my products, I could stand and shout from the mountaintop about who I am and what I have to offer. It’s actually what you almost literally need to do in order to get someone’s attention these days. You are competing with hundreds of television channels as well as the news and the internet, constantly fighting for the attention of the viewer. You have very stiff competition out there so you must be willing to consistently get your message out over and over again in order to penetrate and get known.
Therefore, even if I don’t like all forms of social media, I had to be willing to put my feelings aside and promote regardless. I needed to do whatever it takes to get myself and my product known because I know my products can help people. I am only now really starting to promote and grow my following whereas I could have had 7 years of a social media advantage had I done this sooner.
Lastly, it was my failure to connect with the right woman or network worldwide that kept me small. I was not thinking big enough. I only had a few friends in my own community to interact with. I had not developed a worldwide network of 10X women to connect on a global level. This is the correct order of magnitude that us as women need to think with. I know I’m bias but the world needs us. The world needs more powerful women to show up, take responsibility and share their greatness with the world.
I have friends, a league of powerhouse women that I can “depend” on to have my back and vice versa, around the globe now. This is probably the most important asset that I have created for myself. I am extremely proud that I have built and continue to build a free network of worldwide women who are willing to support each other.
The collaborations that not only myself but the collaboration of other women that have met through our group has truly changed the trajectory of our lives by fast tracking our way to success with each other.
If you want to join our global network of 10X Ladies, go to 10XLadies.com/network and enroll. Again, it is free access to a community of like minded women who wish to expand. You will be sent a weekly zoom link and we all meet Wednesday at 9pm EST for a 1 hour live with myself as the main host. You will meet other women as well as be able to ask me any questions you may have.
Go to 10Xladies.com/network and I look forward to meeting you and welcoming you to our community.
See you Wednesday because Wednesday’s are for Women!