Handling Change and Problems within Marriage

How many people say, “I never want you to change!” to their significant other? People often ask me things like, “How do I get my husband to change?”

Here are my tips for that:

1. Write down your goals and dreams with him.

2. Become an asset. Work on yourself.

3. Don’t try to change him.

The old saying 50/50 doesn’t work, because two people bringing only half of themselves doesn’t create a whole. Both of you bring 100%. You go 100/100 every day and that 200% will carry you much further. But when you’re in a marriage, change is eventually going to come. So embrace change! No one has a job forever. If you’re doing the same thing every day, you’re living a past life, you aren’t evolving to the future.

Together Grant and I have transitioned from California over to Miami, making all new friends and all new contacts in our local community. Change is going to come whether you want it or not. As you go through life, although your values may not waver, you find yourself with new goals and aspirations. Oftentimes changes that do come are not welcome–they are seen as problems! These are not problems caused by arguments with your spouse but rather by what life throws at the two of you together.

As life gets complicated there are three simple questions you can use to come to conclusions faster so you can solve problems.

1. Determine where you are.

2. Determine where you want to be.

3. Determine what you are willing to give up to get there.

And you can use these 3 simple steps to resolve conflict with your spouse!

I challenge you in your marriage to embrace change, and to see problems as opportunities. Determine where you are, where you want to be, and what you’ll give up to get there.

Good luck!

Elena

handling changes in marriage